(On the bus with Mr. Barkin driving)
Cheerleading Squad: Go Mad Do-ogs! Go-Go Mad Do-ogs!
(Steve Barkin growls)
Cheerleading Squad: Go Mad Do-ogs! Go-Go Mad Do-ogs!
Barkin: (growls) Let's save some of the pep for the competition ladies.
Cheerleading Squad: Go Mad Do-ogs! Go-Go Mad Do-ogs!
Ron Stoppable: (while wearing Mad Dog head and foaming) Go Mad Dooogs! Go-Go Mad Dooogs!
Bonnie Rockwaller: Kim! He's doing it again!
Kim Possible: Ron. Ron. Ron!
Kim: You should-uh-hold back until the competition. You know, pace yourself.
Ron: Can't hold back KP the Mad Dog came to play.
Rufus:(raises arms in excitement) Yay-hey.
Kim:(Puts Rufus' arms down) No. Ron. You're already on thin ice with these girls, okay, can you try to be somewhat normal.
Ron: Is there anyone who is not the boss of me?
Kim: I'm so not bossy.
Ron: Except when you're telling me what to do.
Rufus: Mmm-hmm (points at Kim) Bossy.
Kim: Hey you gotta admit, I usually know what's best.
Ron: Oh please, are you kidding me y-. Wait a minute, this road looks familiar. Too familiar! (grabs Kimmunicator) Wade I need a GPS lock on our position
Wade: Okay calm down Mad Dog. (types on computer) Locked. (Kimmunicator revealed to show location: Camp Wannaweep)
Ron: That can't be right. That can't be right!
Ron: It. It's m-mu-mu-mu-mu-mu my worst nightmare! (Rufus whimpers then climbs into Ron's pocket) Return to Camp Wannaweep!
Barkin: Stoppable! Do we have a problem?
Ron: Drive! Drive fast! Drive like my life depends on it!
Barkin (exasperated): What are you yammering about?
Ron: It was the worst summer of all time, I swore I'd never come back to Camp Wannaweep. NEVER!
(Bus runs over some nails, and the tires pop)
Barkin: No bus wipes out on Steve Barkin's watch! (the bus comes to a stop) Sound off if you're hurtin'.
(Everyone says that they are fine. Rufus pokes out of Ron's pocket and wipes his forehead)
Ron: I'm hurting.
(Barkin climbs out to look at the tires) Barkin (sarcastic): Dandy. (climbs back into bus) We got two flats, better call for help.
Bonnie: Ladies. Cell phones.
(Everyone (except Ron and Mr. Barkin) takes out their cell phones and attempt to dial)
Everyone: (gasp) No service! (Bonnie tries again, then throws her phone in anger)
Kim: That's wierd. Well the Kimmunicator isn't working either.
Barkin: Stoppable, you know the lay of the land?
Ron: Every rock, every tree, every bloodthirsty tick. It haunts me.
Barkin: Good. Where's the phone?
(Ron flashes back to his summer at Camp Wannaweep. Young Ron is in on the phone.)
Young Ron: Mom! Hey, it's me again. Yeah, yeah-yeah, I know I just called three minutes ago, but I wanted to ask one more time... CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE! (flashback ends)
Ron: I seem to recall a payphone.
Barkin: Lead the way.
Ron: Mr. Barkin I am not... What did you say?
Barkin: I said lead the way.
Ron: Yeah, this is it, the one time Ron Stoppable gets to lead, gets to call the shots, gets to be the big bossman.
Kim: Ron, just puh-leaze take us to the payphone.
Ron: Oh I will, but you need to understand this... I am your only hope.
Kim: What?! Ron, normal.
Ron: Listen up people, Camp Wannaweep is a dangerous and (Kim groans) wicked place, and among us only I ,Ron Stoppable, know how to survive here.(exits bus) Don't believe me, see that (points to plant), poison oak. How do I know? (flashback: young Ron is standing in front of the poison oak)
Young Ron: What's this plant (grabs a leaf, then shows cabin 13 and young Ron is inside sreaming and scratching himself on the bed and he is covered in red spots.) Make the itching stop! (flashback ends)
Ron: This is a place of evil. Stay close and you'll stay alive. (then they are at the payphone and Kim tries to use it)
Kim: Out of order.
Barkin: I don't like this.
Ron (in a higher voice than normal): Place of eviiil.
Tara: This is just like those movies. Innocent teens, stranded at a camp in the middle of nowhere. Then, some creepo starts to pick them off. One. By. One.
Kim: So not the drama Tara, this isn't a horror movie.
Ron: Oh isn't it? (shines flashlight under face)
Bonnie: O-kay, if it were a horror movie, there'd be more guys. And they'd be way cuter than him (points to Ron).
Ron: Oh Bonnie, you remind me of the cruel kids at camp. Sticks and stones.
Tara: Uh! They called you names?!
Ron: Yes. While hitting me with sticks and stones.
Crystal: (gasps) I saw somethin' move. (Kim shines flashlight revealing a squirrel. The squirrel takes a nut and runs away, then comes back and quickly grabs the other nut.)
Kim: It's just a squirrel
Ron: Just a squirrel! Really?! (flashback: Young Ron is being attacked by squirrels with glowing red eyes).
Young Ron: Leave me alone.(the squirrels growl while moving closer. One spins two acorns in its hands and then crushes them. Young Ron whimpers. Flashback ends)
Barkin: So you've always been a piece of work, huh, Stoppable.
Ron: They were bigger then.
Barkin: Sure you weren't just smaller.
Ron: They were bigger (crosses arms).
Kim: Well, looks like we're stuck for the night. Okay let's make the best of it. (Rufus pokes out of Ron's pocket and tugs on his shirt)
Ron: Yes, right, follow me. (Everyone is now in sitting around a fire)
Ron (telling a story): I was trapped, hiding in the hollow of a tree (gasp), and then the woodpeckers came.
Bonnie (to Kim): Your freaky friend is acting extra freaky.
Kim: He's not freaky Bonnie (Ron then gasp looks in one direction, gasps again then looks in another) Okay he kinda is but it's not his fault.
Ron: It's the curse of Camp Wannaweep.
Tara: What if he's right? What if this place is cursed?
Kim: Tara, please.
Barkin: Stoppable. You're working on my nerves.
Ron: Mr. B shush. We've got a rustle in the brush. (bush rustles. Ron goes to check on it. Kim goes over and stops him)
Kim: Ron, I think we've established that the squirrels mean us no harm.
Ron: What's that supposed to mean?!
Kim: Let's just enjoy the campfire and relax. (as Kim and Ron walk away, the bush opens to reveal some sort of clawed, green human-fish mutant)
Tara: So, you've shared a cabin with a tick-infested chimp?
Ron: Yeah, that's right. This place holds a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some... No, no-no all bad.
Kim: (groans) I umm, I'm going to go get some more firewood, yeah.
Ron: Ooo. KP, Camp Wannaweep rule number one, use the buddy system.
Kim: Oh, well, I think I can handle it.
Barkin: He's right Possible, I'll go too.
Ron: Mr. B's with the program.
Barkin (whispers to Kim): I can not take another camp story.
Kim: Why do you think I'm going.
(Barkin and Kim are walking in the woods, but the mutant from before is following them.)
Tara: You know Ron, I happen to think it's kind of nice here. (Rufus gasps while Ron gives here a wierd look)
Ron: Oh really?
Tara: Sure, I mean the woods are, you know, woodsy and ,well,(Bonnie shakes her head) just look at the lake, it seems so peaceful.
Ron: Ah yes, Lake Wannaweep. (The lake is shown to be green and bubbly.)
Ron: How I hated that lake. (Everyone (but Tara) groans)
Crystal: Not another story.
(Flashback to young Ron standing in front of Lake Wannaweep)
Young Ron: No. way. I am not going into that water.
Counselor: All right everybody jump in the lake. (All the other kids joyfully leap in the water, while Ron avoids the kids and the splashes they make)
Young Ron: Ah, no eew, eew-eww-eww-eww-eww.
Counselor: Uhh, what's wrong now Stoppable.
Young Ron: The lake. Have you looked at it. (gasps) Have you smelled it.
Young Gil: Look at Ronnie, the squeeb scared of the water. (Spits some water at young Ron who jumps out of the way and screams)
Young Ron: I am not scared.(pause) The water is green, it stinks, and I'm pretty sure I've seen the fish glowing at night.
Counselor: Gil, weren't you in the morning swim group? You're supposed to be in arts & crafts right now.
Young Gil: There's no way I'm getting out to make some stupid wallet.
Counselor: You stay in there too long you're gonna wrinkle up like a prune.
Young Gil: Yeah right.
Young Ron: You know, I could take Gil's spot in arts & crafts, and he could have my afternoon swim, I mean, you know for the whole summer?
Counselor (sarcastic): Oh fine, whatever.(starts walking away)Just change the activity roster, we're headed for jungle law that's all I know.
Young Gil: I still say you're a squeeb. (sticks tongue out)
Young Ron: We'll see whose the squeeb at the end of the summer when you're wrinkled up like a prune, and I got a suitcase full of handmade wallets, potholders, and lanyards.(flashback ends)
Ron: That was the last time I ever saw Gil.
Bonnie (looks bored): Sooo, you've been a loser for, like, ever.
Ron & Rufus: (Growl).
Kim: (gasp) Mr. Barkin, did you hear that?
Barkin: Stoppable's gettin' to you. That's just nature's night music. (a slimy green hand grabs Barkin's ankle and drags him into a bush.
Kim: Mr. Barkin? Mr. Barkin?! MR. BARKIIIN?! (Kim goes back to the campfire) Have you seen Barkin?
Bonnie: Kim, duh. Barkin's with you.
Kim: Not anymore.
Tara: So, where is he?
Kim: I-I-I-I don't know, there wer-, there were these wierd sounds, he was there, more wierd sounds, and then he disappeared.
Kim: Uhh, where are Liz and Marcella?
Tara: They went to the little girls cabin. (Liz and Marcella scream, Kim rushes off to save them with Ron in hot pursuit)
Ron: KP the buddy system! (after reaching Kim, has to catch his breath) Kim. Do I have to remind about the importance of the buddy system.
Kim: It didn't help Liz and Marcella. (Rufus yells in gibberish jumps up and down, and points to a three-toed footprint)
Ron: That's not a human footprint Kim.
Kim: Okay, I'm getting a little freaked out here.
Ron: There's only one place to go. Cabin 13. (wolf howls)
(Inside Cabin 13)
Ron: In this very cabin I was able to survive every evil Camp Wannaweep could throw at me. (flashback: young Ron is walking towards Cabin 13 when he gasps, screams then rushes inside as a bunch of suction cup darts hit the door in the shape of a sad face. Flashback end). This will be our base of operations.
Tara: Uh, Ron?
Ron: Yes, Tara?
Tara: I'm hungry.
Ron: Well, if we pry up the floorboard like so, we'll find my secret stash of snacks. (Ron grabs a bag and hands it to Tara).
Kim: Tara, those are ancient.
Bonnie: (gasps) Gr-oss!
Ron: Pop-Pop Porter's food-style pork wafers have enough preservatives to last for decades. (Tara hesitantly tastes one)
Tara: It's not so bad, heh. It's definetely food style.
Bonnie: Great, our squad is short two people and there is nobody to drive us to the competition. (Crystal grabs Bonnie's arms and tries to shake some sense into her)
Crystal: Dude! Forget the competition. How we gonna survive the night? There's something out there.
Bonnie: Okay-okay, you're right.(pause) Do you think that something can drive?
Kim: Everybody stay calm. I'm going to handle this. Here's the plan... (Ron taps Kim on the shoulder)
Ron: Uh, excuse me.
Ron: On the school bus, Barkin's in charge, when we're saving the world, you're in charge, but here at Camp Wannaweep, I'm in charge.
Kim: Ron, this is serious.
Ron: Hello-o, note serious face. (points to face which is in fact, serious)
Ron: Mr. Barkin
Kim: He's out there let's go. (Barkin is running with his body wrapped in green slime.)
Kim: It's okay Mr. Barkin, we're here.
Barkin: It's. Drippin' and oozin' muck. (Makes a disgusted face)
Ron: Mr. B. What exactly is it?
Barkin: Freakish it's-it. Makes me ill to visualize it. (Rufus pretends to be sick)
Kim: Oh come on, I'm sure I've faced worse... Did you say oozing muck? (The rest of the cheerleaders scream and there is a crashing noise.)
Ron: And it's back there. (Kim, Ron, and Barkin rush back to the cabin where it expands until it explodes and green slime spills out.)
Kim, Ron, and Barkin: (gasp) (All of the cheerleaders are trapped in slime, and the green mutant from earlier is standing in the cabin)
Barkin: That's the guy.
Ron: He is freakish.
Mutant: I heard that squeeb. Remember me?
Ron: Not really, an-and I gotta tell you, I think I'd remember.
Mutant: Oh come on Ronnie think. We switched places, you took my arts & crafts, and I took your swim time.
Gil: Oh, I am no longer Gil. Now I am Gill.
Ron: Uhhh, what's the difference?
Gill: I added an "L" You know as in gill, as in, these things that grew when I mutated! (Kim, Ron, and Barkin are all disgusted. Gill shoots slime out of his hands and sticks Kim on a tree)
Gill: Step away from Miss Possible Ronnie!
Ron (squints): How do you know her?
Gill: Oh, I know all about your life squeeb. It's been going great, hasn't it?
Ron: I-I've got some complaints, but who doesn't?
Gill: Is one of your complaints that you're a stinkin' mutant!!
Barkin: All right son, let's take a time-out here before things get out of hand. (Gill blasts him with slime and sticks him to another tree.)
Gill: Do you mind? Can't you see I'm catching up with my old camp buddy. So Ron, did you ever hear why they shut down the camp?
Ron: Uh, no.
Gill: Turns out, oh you're gonna love this, the lake had been polluted, by run-off from the science camp.
Ron: I thought that was the Band camp. (Gill points at Band camp.)
Gill: No, that's band camp.
Ron: Really, I thought that was Clown camp. (Gill points at Clown camp.)
Gill: No, that's clown camp.
Ron: (giggles) Oh-oh yeah, I loved those clowns.
Gill: Uh! The point is, the lake was toxic.
Ron: See, I thought that lake was funky, man I'm glad I never went in, you on the other hand you practically...lived in that water.
Gill: While you made wallets.
Ron: And lanyards. I ruled at lanyards (laughs nervously).
Kim: Look, we know plenty of scientists, maybe someone can cure you.
Gill: Science!! Science made me like this.
Ron: Are you sure it wasn't the clowns?
Gill: Aren't you wondering how I jammed all your communications?
Kim: Equipment stolen from Telecommunications camp.
Gill: Lucky guess.
Kim: So you were behind the blowout on the bus and everything, why?
Gill: All part of my plan, to revenge against Ron Stoppable.
Ron: Part, of me is terrefied, and yet part of me is flattered.
Gill: Did I mention, that contact with this muck, will turn you into a mutant (Kim gasps) Just. Like. Me.
Kim: Well. You left that part out.
Barkin: This is sick and wrong!!
Bonnie: Aaaah, there is no way they're going to let a squad of mutant cheerleaders in the competition.
Gill: There is no competition. Don't you get it? It was all a trap. And guess what Ronnie? You're next. (Gill closes in on Ron)
Ron (nervous): Hey Gill,heh, maybe this is a good time to sing the Camp Wannaweep friendship song.(Gill gets angrier then spits gunk at Ron, who dodges it then slides under Gill)
Gill: Give it up Ronnie.
Ron: Not when I've got my old Cabin 13 escape tunnel handy. (lifts up floorboard then slides down it.
Bonnie: He's ditching us.
Tara: That ditcher!
Kim: Ron does not ditch. He's...(Barkin makes wierd noises) Barkin, what's up with you?
Barkin: Man, my, neck feels all wierd and itchy, and. Cheese and crackers! I'm mutatin'
(Ron ends up in the arts & crafts cabin under a bearskin rug. Wearing it like a cape, he grabs some supplies, when he hears Gill coming.)
(Gill bursts through the floorboards, and spits gunk everywhere multiple times breaking pots as well as going through the walls. He hits Ron's bearskin rug a couple of times. When Gill is done the walls are covered in slime. He looks around and sees the bearskin rug.)
Gill: Got you squeeb.
(He rips off the rug to reveal a totem pole. He looks out the window but cannot spot Ron. Meanwhile, Ron is hiding elsewhere tying a net.)
Ron (tying the rope): Mr. Rabbit hops out of his hole and hops around the tree and...
(Rufus is covered in oil and is busy working on fixing a motorboat. They attempt to start the motorboat but it doesn't start.)
Ron: This does not bode well.
(Rufus thinks, then kicks the engine causing it to roar to life.)
Ron: Go, Rufus. (he rides off)
Gill (back with the rest of the cheerleaders): So, he ditched you.
Kim: He did not ditch us okay, he obviously. (they hear the boat engine)eh, found a motorboat,so, he, could, uhhh...
Bonnie: Totally ditch us.
Gill (in disbelief): He's out on the lake. My lake? How dumb can he be? (He rushes off)
Barkin: (makes wierd noises) I'm getting gills!!
(Gill is chasing Ron and Rufus on the lake. Gill then dives underwater. All of a sudden the engine to the boat stops)
Ron: Rufus! Didn't you check to see if we had enough gas?!
Rufus:(laughs nervously) Uh-oh. (Gill then pops out onto the boat)
Gill: Hey Ron, it's free swim.
Ron: You're on! (Ron dives into the water) Okay, that water is waaay to funky. (Gill resurfaces)
Gill: You think! You can't win Ronnie, this is my element. (Gill jumps on Ron and the tumble in the water. Ron kicks Gill away and Gill's leg is caught in some rope. They both resurface)
Ron: And arts&crafts is my element. (Pulls on rope)
Ron: Now Rufus! (Rufus kicks the engine turning it on. The boat starts driving away and Rufus jumps onto the rope and runs towards Ron)
Gill: What's going on, you were out of gas! (Rufus jumps over Gill then dives into the water.)
Rufus: Psych! (Rufus jumps over Gill then dives into the water. The boat drags Gill away screaming, the boat runs into a buoy and then crashes into the pier and lands on a cabin with Gill gasping and hanging from it by a leg.
Ron: Free swim's over
(After the sun rises and help arrives. Gill is caught in a net and is struggling to get out. Ron approaches.)
Ron: Let me tell you, Ron Stoppable makes a mean lanyard.
Barkin: Hurry men, my feet are webbing as we speak. (Men in Hazmat suits spray Barkin with yellow liquid that turns him back to normal.)
Gill: Ron you are still a squeeb! Aaah! (gets dropped into a giant fishbowl) And you always will be.
Kim: Dr. Lurkin specializes in genetic mutations. (Ron and Dr. Lurkin shake hands)
Ron: So, you think you can reverse Gill's mutation
Dr. Lurkin: Well, I specialize in genetically altered rutabaga, so this should be quite a challenge.
Gill: I will have my revenge!!
Dr. Lurkin: Oh, don't worry, we'll fix him up.
Ron: Get normal soon Gill!
Barkin: Hey! Hey! (to Dr. Lurkin) Check my neck. Is everything cool?
Officer Hobble: Nice work Possible!
Kim: Actually Officer Hobble it was all Ron.
Officer Hobble:(laughs) Good one young lady.
Kim: I'm serious. (points to Ron)
Barkin: (gives Ron a pat on the back) Nice work Stoppable. (Other cheerleaders congradulate him as well.)
Rufus: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ron: No-no-no-no-no-no thank you (bows) (Tara giggles then kisses Ron on the cheek. Ron sighs)
Bonnie: You know it's not like you're not still you know, you.(Rufus growls) But it would really stink if that jerk turned us into mutants. And you were. kind of... brave and all.
Ron: (high-fives Rufus) Who rocks?
Bonnie: (sigh) You do.
Ron: Booyah! (dances)
Barkin: Hey listen up the police are gonna give us a lift home. Let's lock and load!
Ron: I'll be there in a minute Mr. B.
(Back at the destroyed Cabin 13, Ron walks up the stairs leading to the cabin.)
Kim: Pretty amazing.
Ron: What do you mean?
Kim: Everything. You were awesome.
Ron: Yeah. This is the one place where I know the score, where Ron Stoppable knows what it takes to be the last camper standing. (He goes up one step and the stairs collapse)
Kim: Ron, the stuff you did, you were resourceful, you were brave. That doesn't have anything to do with this place. It's you.
Ron: You think so?
Ron: So on the next mission, I call the shots.
Kim: Uh, well we'll see. (they begin walking back)
Ron: C'mo- aw, I know what that means.
Kim: It means we'll see.
Ron: Yeah that's code for not a chance.
Kim: Actually, it's code for ferociously unlikely.
Ron: Awww, maaann